Need Protection? Need Money? Need Women? Need the law to give you a break? Need Respect? Want the easy life? If you answered yes to at least half of lease your ready to star a Mafia family.
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
1-Get a crew together, friends from back in the day, some boys you can trust. Get 3-5, and you can start, if you don't know any local Dons or don't live near anybody. You'll have to pick a Don out of your crew.
2-With the Don, He must appoint a UnderBoss,or Capo Bastone - the one he trusts most shouls fill this position.
3-Now the Don should pick a Consigliere, a verteran criminal is required here, better yet a real made man.
4-The rest will be caporegime, and they'll need to recruit 3-10 men for soldiers in a crew. The capo runs that crew, though he is run by the UnderBoss who is run by the Don.
5-If you meet another family Don who started up like you did from this text file, then unite your familys and elect a Godfather, or Padrone, to look over the Dons.
If your the Godfather over 200 men or more, you could be making millions of dollars a month.
Rules to live by;
1-Respect the Omerta, the vow a Mafioso takes, he musn't tell anyone about his ill dealings, or he should be put to rest.
2-NO DRUGS, Drugs kill ambition, kill men, and kill organizations, not to mention-Drug Dealers get harsh penalties in prison.
3-RESPECT THOSE WHO HAVE CAME BEFORE YOU-Respecting those who came before you is important in two ways. you must hand a cut of the take to your capo, or whomever is directly above you on the Mafia org. Chart. Then, this rules goes hand in hand with the first, by breaking the omerta, you dishonor men who never broke the Omerta, possibly dieing because of it.
4-RESPECT THE LORD YOUR GOD, though he frowns on your ill dealings, he still loves you, and you should love him, Theres only one way out, but what you do now helps God decide where you go after your killed. Ok, those are the basics, now I'll give you a little list of How-to's.
1-Shakedown:
A-Blackmail an important person, local politicians, prominent buisness man, entertainment star, one with much to lose as depends on the public eye. Don't Blackmail average people , they are far more willing to go to the cops.
B-Extortion, pretty simple-make them an offer they can't refuse, or an offer they can refuse but with sever penalties. Sever penalties are only restricted by imagination.
2-Loan Sharking: Lend someone money who needs some, with a ludicrous vig{Intrest rate}, like 20 points{percent} a month or in a small amount, a week.
3-Protection: If someone needs Mafia protection, the person is often willing to pay alot of money to do so. Lok for someone like a gang member or bullied kid to turn a real profit.
4-Gambling: Give people free food, drinks, and maybe even broads, so they will come and gamble against each other, make sure the table{you; the mini casino;the pot} takes 10 points of whats bet, and you'll turn a real profit.
5-Gambling2: Have people bet on Sports games and write their bet down in your books, people may bet the same way or for the other team, but make your profit from taking points from peoples profit and making odds in the favor of underdogs.
If you're lucky you can lie cheat and steal enough for a comfortable lifestyle
Thursday, April 28, 2011
How to Piss Off Lunch Ladies
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
Well this is pretty easy stuff to do.
Well this is pretty easy stuff to do.
- Put pubic hair in your food and make them take it back.
- Take a hell of a lot mayo or mustard packs right in front of them until they yell at you.
- Ask why all the fake food is so expensive and when they get mad go what the hell did i do.
- Get your food and then when you go to pay go crazy and act like you can't find your money.
- Drop your plate on the floor and spaz out and yell out shit or any swear and then whine for another lunch.
- Pick up a spoon and say it's dirty and take another and say its dirty keep doin this till they yell at you.
- When you go to pay drop your money on the floor and say to the lunch lady why the hell did you drop my damn money.
- Instead of using the tongs to pick up your food stick your hand in the food when one of the lunch ladies walks by.
How to Lead a Revolution Against a Teacher
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
1. Do not listen to anything they say. If they say something repeat after it has been said "What?". This works really well if they have just explained a very long and complicated procedure.
2. If you are playing a game with them for example baseball or cricket always aim the ball at them and if it does in fact hit them deny, deny, deny.
3. Take your time at everything you do. If they shout at you go even slower. If they tell you to start running jog but go even slower.
4. Act so immature that they will not be able to take it. Shouting is a good sign. If they shout, laugh all they way through.
5. Make note of everything they say. Watch for anything that you will be able to say against them. For example if they get your name wrong, then get their name wrong, but make that name humerous and also keep calling them that until the end of the lesson. When my subject teacher got my name wrong, i got me and my friends to call him Mr Wiggles even though his name was Mr Pugh!!!
6. Randomly start to sing or mumble insane rambling under your tongue and then claim that its a medical condition that the docters cannot cure.
7. Pretend that you are mentally disabled and start to have a fit on the floor in front of them. If they start to get really worried, suddenly jump up so that your face is inches away from his and shout "Got Ya" and laugh loudly.
8. Finally if you have nothing to lose attach your tie of a long piece of material round your head, jump on the table and chant "Down with <<Teacher's last name>>, Hes crap at teaching". After generally cause chaos and fashion weapons from rulers, pens and erasers (throw the erasers round the room). Then run out of the room hitting everything you go past with your weapon so that it makes a loud noise.
Golden Rule: Only do these things if your friends are willing to participate. The teacher cannot punish the whole class. If they do give you detention, do the same during detention and so on.
With luck after this your teacher will get so scared that they leave the school and thus you will get another teacher to torment and distress.
1. Do not listen to anything they say. If they say something repeat after it has been said "What?". This works really well if they have just explained a very long and complicated procedure.
2. If you are playing a game with them for example baseball or cricket always aim the ball at them and if it does in fact hit them deny, deny, deny.
3. Take your time at everything you do. If they shout at you go even slower. If they tell you to start running jog but go even slower.
4. Act so immature that they will not be able to take it. Shouting is a good sign. If they shout, laugh all they way through.
5. Make note of everything they say. Watch for anything that you will be able to say against them. For example if they get your name wrong, then get their name wrong, but make that name humerous and also keep calling them that until the end of the lesson. When my subject teacher got my name wrong, i got me and my friends to call him Mr Wiggles even though his name was Mr Pugh!!!
6. Randomly start to sing or mumble insane rambling under your tongue and then claim that its a medical condition that the docters cannot cure.
7. Pretend that you are mentally disabled and start to have a fit on the floor in front of them. If they start to get really worried, suddenly jump up so that your face is inches away from his and shout "Got Ya" and laugh loudly.
8. Finally if you have nothing to lose attach your tie of a long piece of material round your head, jump on the table and chant "Down with <<Teacher's last name>>, Hes crap at teaching". After generally cause chaos and fashion weapons from rulers, pens and erasers (throw the erasers round the room). Then run out of the room hitting everything you go past with your weapon so that it makes a loud noise.
Golden Rule: Only do these things if your friends are willing to participate. The teacher cannot punish the whole class. If they do give you detention, do the same during detention and so on.
With luck after this your teacher will get so scared that they leave the school and thus you will get another teacher to torment and distress.
Happy Revolting
How to Get Lost
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
If you wanted to dissappear and stay missing here are seven steps to do it.
Step one: change your name. Research newspaper accounts of children dying about the time you were born; note the parents' names and proceed to the Bureau of Vital Statistics to order a copy of the kids birth certificate. Take the birth certificate to the post office and apply for a new Social Security number; if this is a problem, due to new SS regulations, simply advise the Social Security Administration of your name change and have your SSN reflect this. Take your new Social Security card and birth certificate to the voters'-registration office and apply for a voter's card. With these three pieces of identification, you can apply for a driver's license, preferably in a larger city. (Be sure and have those documents sent to an address other than your own, such as that of a mial-forwarding service.
Step two: move to another state. To reduce the possibility of accidentally running into someone you know, move to an area that people are unlikely to like Las Vegas or L.A.
Step three: break off all contact with relatives and friends. A skilled investigator can employ sophisticated pretexts that will decieve even the most alert person, and those closest to you could accidentally betray you.
Step four: give up any serious hobbies. People with special interests live in a small world (except for computerists, as hacking and phreaking is a small world where people don't use real names and phone numbers anyway). One man whose hobby was target shooting was located when his picture was printed in the club newsletter.
Step five: change your vocation. Same reason as step four---it's a small world and someone, someday, may recognize you.
Step six: alter your appearance. This won't fool anyone who knows you well but should be sufficient to throw off casual acquaintances. Dye your hair, cut it, or let it grow out; if you wear glasses or contacts, interchange them; adopt a new clothing style, etc.
Step seven: remain low-key. If your fingerprints are on file, don't get a job that requires them. Do not take a highprofile job. Never achieve a position of great importance. Don't enter legal altercations. Don't do anything that brings attention to yourself.
unknown author in P.I. manual typed by Chris Masters
If you wanted to dissappear and stay missing here are seven steps to do it.
Step one: change your name. Research newspaper accounts of children dying about the time you were born; note the parents' names and proceed to the Bureau of Vital Statistics to order a copy of the kids birth certificate. Take the birth certificate to the post office and apply for a new Social Security number; if this is a problem, due to new SS regulations, simply advise the Social Security Administration of your name change and have your SSN reflect this. Take your new Social Security card and birth certificate to the voters'-registration office and apply for a voter's card. With these three pieces of identification, you can apply for a driver's license, preferably in a larger city. (Be sure and have those documents sent to an address other than your own, such as that of a mial-forwarding service.
Step two: move to another state. To reduce the possibility of accidentally running into someone you know, move to an area that people are unlikely to like Las Vegas or L.A.
Step three: break off all contact with relatives and friends. A skilled investigator can employ sophisticated pretexts that will decieve even the most alert person, and those closest to you could accidentally betray you.
Step four: give up any serious hobbies. People with special interests live in a small world (except for computerists, as hacking and phreaking is a small world where people don't use real names and phone numbers anyway). One man whose hobby was target shooting was located when his picture was printed in the club newsletter.
Step five: change your vocation. Same reason as step four---it's a small world and someone, someday, may recognize you.
Step six: alter your appearance. This won't fool anyone who knows you well but should be sufficient to throw off casual acquaintances. Dye your hair, cut it, or let it grow out; if you wear glasses or contacts, interchange them; adopt a new clothing style, etc.
Step seven: remain low-key. If your fingerprints are on file, don't get a job that requires them. Do not take a highprofile job. Never achieve a position of great importance. Don't enter legal altercations. Don't do anything that brings attention to yourself.
unknown author in P.I. manual typed by Chris Masters
How to Fuck Your School Up
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
This works best if you happen to have alot of derelict friends, as I do... your first day of school you should bring the following items, to insure a prosperous school year:
1) fountain pen (and extra ink refills)
2) 3 tubes of super glue (krazy glue)
3) pennies (about $1.00 worth)
4) balloons (small sized for convieniance)
5) mirror (small hand held)
6) liquid soap
7) lighter, (matches as alternat)
8) firecrackers (ladyfingers are great)
9) screwdrivers and other tools (small)
10) small squeezable bottles (like nasal de-congestant type)
11) wire (10-20 ft)
12) tape recorder mic. (batter operated pref.)
13) ziplock baggies
14) half of an orange
15) light bulb (75 watts and over are great)
This will do for now... some of the cool things to do are, take the pennies and glue them to the cafeteria tables, (and watch the custodians try to get 'em off). This also looks good with silver dollars glued to the fire alarm (so it goes off when the custodian attempts to remove the coin) and to a door some place (principals preferably).
Another thing to do with a coin is, heat it up over a bunson burner (in chem) and just as the bell rings, toss the coin into the hall, i will guarantee you will know when the coin is picked up... while your using the bunson burner, fill your little squeeze bottle with gas, then cap it tight and put it in your pocket... later, take a firecracker, and glue it to the bottle, use a cigarette as a fuse extension, then put it in the bathroom, and get to class fast... (gas and glue make a nice flame)...
While your in the bathroom, place a light bulb over the door, and when the superintendant goes to see what the explosion was, he gets a nice little surprise...
Now for the wire, if you can access a room near your locker, when no one is in the room, take off the speaker cover on the pa system, and hook 2 wires from it, to your mic. (then into your locker) this is good for getting your friends out of classes... just ask for them... (use your tools for that one, and try to be neat about it)...
Now for your mirror, you can use this for getting your, uh..."friends" locker combanation.... after you get that, take that little baggie you got, and put the orange in it... let it sit for a week or four, then open the baggie, and place it in your friends locker... I can guarentee he/she will love it!
Another thing that is fun to do, is, take a penny, and glue it over the key hole on your friends gym locker, just after he goes out, thus he has to truck around all day in his gym stuff, (unless you rent him your screw driver to pry the penny off)
Ballons are fun to play with in chem lab, fill them with the gas that you get out of the taps on the lab desks, then tie up the baloon tight, and drop it out the window to the burn outs below, you know, the ones that are always smoking, they love to pop baloons with light cigaretts, get the picture? good...
Those fountain pens are cool, because if you make a slight jerking motion with your hand, ink squirts all over the room, (or person, what everyour aiming at) it is a good idea not to let the teachers know you have one of those, it makes it too easy to find out who did it when theres ink all over the principals face... (or on the floors, walls, and ceilings...)
Liquid soap is great for use in crowded hallways, it turns everybody into a ice skating star, (works especially well when people come in from the rain)... if your school is anything like the one I goto, people never flush the toiletts, a little liquid soap in here makes for a nice surprise, I mean, what happens when the soap is not flushed out of the toilet, and the suds aren't flushed out either? the janitors have a really good time trying to figure out that one... (glue a quarter in one of the urinals, always a winner)... turn off the water under the sinks too... getting back to the soap, it is also good on the hand railings in hallways and on steps, if you mix perfume with it, some poor grub has to have that stench on him all day.
This works best if you happen to have alot of derelict friends, as I do... your first day of school you should bring the following items, to insure a prosperous school year:
1) fountain pen (and extra ink refills)
2) 3 tubes of super glue (krazy glue)
3) pennies (about $1.00 worth)
4) balloons (small sized for convieniance)
5) mirror (small hand held)
6) liquid soap
7) lighter, (matches as alternat)
8) firecrackers (ladyfingers are great)
9) screwdrivers and other tools (small)
10) small squeezable bottles (like nasal de-congestant type)
11) wire (10-20 ft)
12) tape recorder mic. (batter operated pref.)
13) ziplock baggies
14) half of an orange
15) light bulb (75 watts and over are great)
This will do for now... some of the cool things to do are, take the pennies and glue them to the cafeteria tables, (and watch the custodians try to get 'em off). This also looks good with silver dollars glued to the fire alarm (so it goes off when the custodian attempts to remove the coin) and to a door some place (principals preferably).
Another thing to do with a coin is, heat it up over a bunson burner (in chem) and just as the bell rings, toss the coin into the hall, i will guarantee you will know when the coin is picked up... while your using the bunson burner, fill your little squeeze bottle with gas, then cap it tight and put it in your pocket... later, take a firecracker, and glue it to the bottle, use a cigarette as a fuse extension, then put it in the bathroom, and get to class fast... (gas and glue make a nice flame)...
While your in the bathroom, place a light bulb over the door, and when the superintendant goes to see what the explosion was, he gets a nice little surprise...
Now for the wire, if you can access a room near your locker, when no one is in the room, take off the speaker cover on the pa system, and hook 2 wires from it, to your mic. (then into your locker) this is good for getting your friends out of classes... just ask for them... (use your tools for that one, and try to be neat about it)...
Now for your mirror, you can use this for getting your, uh..."friends" locker combanation.... after you get that, take that little baggie you got, and put the orange in it... let it sit for a week or four, then open the baggie, and place it in your friends locker... I can guarentee he/she will love it!
Another thing that is fun to do, is, take a penny, and glue it over the key hole on your friends gym locker, just after he goes out, thus he has to truck around all day in his gym stuff, (unless you rent him your screw driver to pry the penny off)
Ballons are fun to play with in chem lab, fill them with the gas that you get out of the taps on the lab desks, then tie up the baloon tight, and drop it out the window to the burn outs below, you know, the ones that are always smoking, they love to pop baloons with light cigaretts, get the picture? good...
Those fountain pens are cool, because if you make a slight jerking motion with your hand, ink squirts all over the room, (or person, what everyour aiming at) it is a good idea not to let the teachers know you have one of those, it makes it too easy to find out who did it when theres ink all over the principals face... (or on the floors, walls, and ceilings...)
Liquid soap is great for use in crowded hallways, it turns everybody into a ice skating star, (works especially well when people come in from the rain)... if your school is anything like the one I goto, people never flush the toiletts, a little liquid soap in here makes for a nice surprise, I mean, what happens when the soap is not flushed out of the toilet, and the suds aren't flushed out either? the janitors have a really good time trying to figure out that one... (glue a quarter in one of the urinals, always a winner)... turn off the water under the sinks too... getting back to the soap, it is also good on the hand railings in hallways and on steps, if you mix perfume with it, some poor grub has to have that stench on him all day.
Easy Way to Cheat Parking Meters
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
If you live in any city or busy town, you probably get jacked quite often for an expired meter. In my city those parking enforcement bastards are writing you up seconds after the meter expires. And how about all the money in quarters you dish out? I bet if you added it all up you could feed a small country....those bastards are taking the food out of poor babies mouths!
Well, here is a handy way to never have to pay the parking meter and park scott-free for hours. You will get really good at this and you will never put another quarter in the meter again...(except of course when your mother is with you)
Let me first say that this does NOT work in the brand new meters that are digital. (I'm working on that)
1) park your car in front of the meter
2) while in your car, find a business card or a matchbook or any semi-thick paper. (if it's abusiness card
3)If you have a business card: tear 1 inch off of the end and 1/2 inch off of the bottom (you should have a rectangular piece of card measuring about 2-1/2 x 1-1/2 now) if you have a matchbook: open it up and tear off the cover ane half of the back (that should leave you with a 1-1/2" x 2-1/2" rectangle as well) Any piece of semi-thick paper can be torn into these dimentions. (the envelope from a parking ticket works well too!)
4) Fold the paper in half lenghth-wise and then fold it in half length-wise again. You will now have a pretty thick peice of card now measuring about 2-1/2 inches by 1/4 inch.
5) walk up to the meter (don't get nervous nobody pays any attention to someone putting change in their meter, silly) and insert the folded card into the quarter slot until the paper stops. It''s best that the card is thick and takes a little effort going into the slot. As soon as the card is about half-way in the slot, turn the crank on the meter all the way (this will take a little effort). Turning the crank will pull the card into the slot further. Turn the crank all the way until the yellow "violation" sign appears at the top and sticks. Do not try and turn the crank back in the other direction as this may kick up the red sign (ticket). The point is to jam the meter into it's "broken" position which is the yellow "voilation" sign. When the violation sign is up THEY CANNOT TICKET YOU. You can stay there indefinantely if they don't chalk you...If they chalk you (and this is VERY rare) you get about 2 hours (depending on the meter zone ie: 2 hour max etc.)
6) Tear off any ends of card that may still be protruding from the quarter slot. (if you're really socially concious you can leave it sticking out, then when you return you can pull out the entire card and the meter will be as good as new....but I wouldn't reccomend this as sometimes the metermaid will pull it out herself and then another one will come by later an give you a ticket)
7) test the crank and make sure it's jammed well...If you done it right the crank will be so jammed that you can't even turn it back)
8) go on your merry way and rejoice in the knowlege that you saved another dollar toward the starving children's fund.
Remember: when the yellow "violation" sign is up on the meter you are fine. This just means that the meter is broken and you have immunity from tickets when you're at a broken meter. After a while you will do this without even thinking about it. Remenber to keep plenty of cards or matches in your car.
Note: just in case the metermaids try to crack down on this meter-terrorism, don't have your goddam name on the cards or papers you're inserting into the meter.
Again, once you get the hang of it this system is flawless. And I really don't think the metermaids care that much either since they can easily pull the paper out when they open up the meter to collect the change.
-----
If you live in a big city that has a "Chinatown", then another great way to cheat the meter is to purchase a roll of chinese candy called "HAW FLAKES" at any chinese 5 and dime store.
Haw Flakes come in small rolls of twenty and cost about a nickel a roll. Haw Flakes WORK IN THE METERS AS QUARTERS (not the digital meters). You put in one Haw flake and GENTLY turn the crank. Sometimes they break, so just try again. They do work. Haw Flakes are mighty yummy too..but remember thier great value as money before you scarf all your quarters down. You Chinese folks out there no what the hell I'm talking about don't cha......
No worries though as the card jamming method above works very well.
If you live in any city or busy town, you probably get jacked quite often for an expired meter. In my city those parking enforcement bastards are writing you up seconds after the meter expires. And how about all the money in quarters you dish out? I bet if you added it all up you could feed a small country....those bastards are taking the food out of poor babies mouths!
Well, here is a handy way to never have to pay the parking meter and park scott-free for hours. You will get really good at this and you will never put another quarter in the meter again...(except of course when your mother is with you)
Let me first say that this does NOT work in the brand new meters that are digital. (I'm working on that)
1) park your car in front of the meter
2) while in your car, find a business card or a matchbook or any semi-thick paper. (if it's abusiness card
3)If you have a business card: tear 1 inch off of the end and 1/2 inch off of the bottom (you should have a rectangular piece of card measuring about 2-1/2 x 1-1/2 now) if you have a matchbook: open it up and tear off the cover ane half of the back (that should leave you with a 1-1/2" x 2-1/2" rectangle as well) Any piece of semi-thick paper can be torn into these dimentions. (the envelope from a parking ticket works well too!)
4) Fold the paper in half lenghth-wise and then fold it in half length-wise again. You will now have a pretty thick peice of card now measuring about 2-1/2 inches by 1/4 inch.
5) walk up to the meter (don't get nervous nobody pays any attention to someone putting change in their meter, silly) and insert the folded card into the quarter slot until the paper stops. It''s best that the card is thick and takes a little effort going into the slot. As soon as the card is about half-way in the slot, turn the crank on the meter all the way (this will take a little effort). Turning the crank will pull the card into the slot further. Turn the crank all the way until the yellow "violation" sign appears at the top and sticks. Do not try and turn the crank back in the other direction as this may kick up the red sign (ticket). The point is to jam the meter into it's "broken" position which is the yellow "voilation" sign. When the violation sign is up THEY CANNOT TICKET YOU. You can stay there indefinantely if they don't chalk you...If they chalk you (and this is VERY rare) you get about 2 hours (depending on the meter zone ie: 2 hour max etc.)
6) Tear off any ends of card that may still be protruding from the quarter slot. (if you're really socially concious you can leave it sticking out, then when you return you can pull out the entire card and the meter will be as good as new....but I wouldn't reccomend this as sometimes the metermaid will pull it out herself and then another one will come by later an give you a ticket)
7) test the crank and make sure it's jammed well...If you done it right the crank will be so jammed that you can't even turn it back)
8) go on your merry way and rejoice in the knowlege that you saved another dollar toward the starving children's fund.
Remember: when the yellow "violation" sign is up on the meter you are fine. This just means that the meter is broken and you have immunity from tickets when you're at a broken meter. After a while you will do this without even thinking about it. Remenber to keep plenty of cards or matches in your car.
Note: just in case the metermaids try to crack down on this meter-terrorism, don't have your goddam name on the cards or papers you're inserting into the meter.
Again, once you get the hang of it this system is flawless. And I really don't think the metermaids care that much either since they can easily pull the paper out when they open up the meter to collect the change.
-----
If you live in a big city that has a "Chinatown", then another great way to cheat the meter is to purchase a roll of chinese candy called "HAW FLAKES" at any chinese 5 and dime store.
Haw Flakes come in small rolls of twenty and cost about a nickel a roll. Haw Flakes WORK IN THE METERS AS QUARTERS (not the digital meters). You put in one Haw flake and GENTLY turn the crank. Sometimes they break, so just try again. They do work. Haw Flakes are mighty yummy too..but remember thier great value as money before you scarf all your quarters down. You Chinese folks out there no what the hell I'm talking about don't cha......
No worries though as the card jamming method above works very well.
Butane Balloons
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
The Butane Balloon
Innocent looking balloon that transforms into giant flaming fireball when exposed to open flame.
You'll Need:
A big balloon.
A can of Butane to refill lighters like Zippos.
Sticky paper such as a ''post-it''
How to Make:
First you need to buy a large balloon, a can of butane, you get these to refill lighters that you don't just throw away. You can get butane from Walgreens. Now, the tricky part to this is that the nozzle to the butan can is very thin and small so you will need a buddy. Have one person hold the balloon's mouth over the butand nozzle, and the other to fill up the balloon. Once the balloon is full, quickly tie it in a double-knot. Now to ignite it, stick a post-it to the balloon and light the post-it on fire via lighter. The Butane is in the form of gas incase you were wondering, the butane is heavier than air so it won't arise, and the butane is pressurized so be careful. I was once doing this by myself when all of a sudden, the balloon burst. Pieces of thin ice flew everywhere, including my eyes...
The Butane Balloon
Innocent looking balloon that transforms into giant flaming fireball when exposed to open flame.
You'll Need:
A big balloon.
A can of Butane to refill lighters like Zippos.
Sticky paper such as a ''post-it''
How to Make:
First you need to buy a large balloon, a can of butane, you get these to refill lighters that you don't just throw away. You can get butane from Walgreens. Now, the tricky part to this is that the nozzle to the butan can is very thin and small so you will need a buddy. Have one person hold the balloon's mouth over the butand nozzle, and the other to fill up the balloon. Once the balloon is full, quickly tie it in a double-knot. Now to ignite it, stick a post-it to the balloon and light the post-it on fire via lighter. The Butane is in the form of gas incase you were wondering, the butane is heavier than air so it won't arise, and the butane is pressurized so be careful. I was once doing this by myself when all of a sudden, the balloon burst. Pieces of thin ice flew everywhere, including my eyes...
Being made redundant? Get payback!
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
Angry at being made redundant? Then payback is due! This will only work if they give notice that you're being sacked. If not then this is useless!
1. Take a note of the Chairman of the companies direct phone number and email. Ring him from a payphone or set up a free email account at a library and tell him exactly what you think of his rotten company.
2. Get some pens that don?t work and on your final day when your boss is out slip the pens into his desk and take all the good ones for yourself. For added effect steal his staple remover and snap his pencils in half.
3. Raid the stationary cupboard over a number of days, take anything of worth and take it home. Hey presto! Free stationary!
4. On your final day steal take all of the toilet paper in the store cupboard out and take it with you. If it's a Friday then the employees will come in on Monday and need a dump, they will get in the cubicle and hopefully dump their load before they realise that there is no toilet paper.
5. Format the hard drive of the computer you use. The next person to use it will be annoyed when it doesn't work.
6. Stamp chewing gum into the carpet.
7. 'Accidentally' spill a cup of tee all over the desk of that employee you never liked. For added effect do it when he has some important work on his desk!
8. Write down everything that's bad about the company on some paper and tape it to the bottom of your desk drawer so that if you ever need a reminder as to why you are enacting revenge that will be it.
9. Report the company for ANY illegal activity that you know they're participating in. Even if its something as trivial as copying software to give to employees they will still get fined and you'll feel much better.
10. Break the toner in the printer.
11. Photocopy your arse on the photocopier 100 times. Then leave it in a place so after you leave it will be found. Or better yet use the companies post to post it to all the employees of the company, using another name of course!
12. Abuse the companies Internet. Go on whatever the hell you want!
13. Take long lunches and leave early.
14. Put a stink bomb in the air conditioning when there is an important meeting scheduled.
15. In those final few days, work starts when you want it to!
Angry at being made redundant? Then payback is due! This will only work if they give notice that you're being sacked. If not then this is useless!
1. Take a note of the Chairman of the companies direct phone number and email. Ring him from a payphone or set up a free email account at a library and tell him exactly what you think of his rotten company.
2. Get some pens that don?t work and on your final day when your boss is out slip the pens into his desk and take all the good ones for yourself. For added effect steal his staple remover and snap his pencils in half.
3. Raid the stationary cupboard over a number of days, take anything of worth and take it home. Hey presto! Free stationary!
4. On your final day steal take all of the toilet paper in the store cupboard out and take it with you. If it's a Friday then the employees will come in on Monday and need a dump, they will get in the cubicle and hopefully dump their load before they realise that there is no toilet paper.
5. Format the hard drive of the computer you use. The next person to use it will be annoyed when it doesn't work.
6. Stamp chewing gum into the carpet.
7. 'Accidentally' spill a cup of tee all over the desk of that employee you never liked. For added effect do it when he has some important work on his desk!
8. Write down everything that's bad about the company on some paper and tape it to the bottom of your desk drawer so that if you ever need a reminder as to why you are enacting revenge that will be it.
9. Report the company for ANY illegal activity that you know they're participating in. Even if its something as trivial as copying software to give to employees they will still get fined and you'll feel much better.
10. Break the toner in the printer.
11. Photocopy your arse on the photocopier 100 times. Then leave it in a place so after you leave it will be found. Or better yet use the companies post to post it to all the employees of the company, using another name of course!
12. Abuse the companies Internet. Go on whatever the hell you want!
13. Take long lunches and leave early.
14. Put a stink bomb in the air conditioning when there is an important meeting scheduled.
15. In those final few days, work starts when you want it to!
Bananas and Sprite... Who knew?
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
So, in the cafeteria, my friend comes up to me and tells me that I can get high from bananas and sprite. Being the daring person that I am, I tell him that I'll do it if he tells me how. He said to eat two bananas as fast as I could and then chug a sprite immediately afterwards. Luckily, another friend overheard us talking and advised me not to because it would be entirely painful. WARNING!! THIS DOES NOT GET YOU HIGH!! I was almost mislead into this prank (what great friends I have). So my point, tell this insane idea to somebody that you don't like or someone who you know will do this. The actual effect is the intense pain of a mixture of mushed bananas and sprite coming out of your mouth and nose. I don't know exactly how this works. Maybe it has something to do with the carbonation and potassium, I'm not sure. If you know please let me in on this phenomenon. It's hilarious for the onlookers but I would strongly suggest buying your friend something nice after the hell that you'll put them through
So, in the cafeteria, my friend comes up to me and tells me that I can get high from bananas and sprite. Being the daring person that I am, I tell him that I'll do it if he tells me how. He said to eat two bananas as fast as I could and then chug a sprite immediately afterwards. Luckily, another friend overheard us talking and advised me not to because it would be entirely painful. WARNING!! THIS DOES NOT GET YOU HIGH!! I was almost mislead into this prank (what great friends I have). So my point, tell this insane idea to somebody that you don't like or someone who you know will do this. The actual effect is the intense pain of a mixture of mushed bananas and sprite coming out of your mouth and nose. I don't know exactly how this works. Maybe it has something to do with the carbonation and potassium, I'm not sure. If you know please let me in on this phenomenon. It's hilarious for the onlookers but I would strongly suggest buying your friend something nice after the hell that you'll put them through
A How To On Vending Machines
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
Welcome. I will tell you about the programming menu (also known as Service Mode) on some vending machines. There are 2 types of machines: the Glass Front Vender (with a 3X6 keypad) and the plain, old ones with several choices. They're both the same.
Now, if you are lucky, the "service person" refilling the machine forgot to close the machine's door, go up to it.
The glass front model has a keypad. Press 4231, and you're in! You'll get several options. To change prices, go to "PRICE" to change it.
Here's the following commands for either model.
1=Go To Previous Menu
2,3=Go To an Option
4=Enter
"Price" setting routine
Use 2/3 to cycle to the option, and press 4 to change it. Then set the price.
If cash is what you're loocking for, go to Coinpayo (or CPO)
Press 4 to Enter, then use 2/3 to select an ammount, then hold 4 and money will come out!
Here's a situation:
There's a store you hate. They have a Glass front vendor. Go to TESTMENU, press 4, select RELAYS, press 4, then press 4 when it says COMPR #, press 4 to have it say COMPR 1 and run like hell!
I have the service manual. Email me if ya want it!
It says "Caution: Failure to disconnect power to the compressor before testing the compressor relay will cause damage to the compressor
Welcome. I will tell you about the programming menu (also known as Service Mode) on some vending machines. There are 2 types of machines: the Glass Front Vender (with a 3X6 keypad) and the plain, old ones with several choices. They're both the same.
Now, if you are lucky, the "service person" refilling the machine forgot to close the machine's door, go up to it.
The glass front model has a keypad. Press 4231, and you're in! You'll get several options. To change prices, go to "PRICE" to change it.
Here's the following commands for either model.
1=Go To Previous Menu
2,3=Go To an Option
4=Enter
"Price" setting routine
Use 2/3 to cycle to the option, and press 4 to change it. Then set the price.
If cash is what you're loocking for, go to Coinpayo (or CPO)
Press 4 to Enter, then use 2/3 to select an ammount, then hold 4 and money will come out!
Here's a situation:
There's a store you hate. They have a Glass front vendor. Go to TESTMENU, press 4, select RELAYS, press 4, then press 4 when it says COMPR #, press 4 to have it say COMPR 1 and run like hell!
I have the service manual. Email me if ya want it!
It says "Caution: Failure to disconnect power to the compressor before testing the compressor relay will cause damage to the compressor
35 Ways to Annoy Your Neighbor
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
"Love your neighbor" said Jesus.
Fuck that shit, everyone has an annoying neighbor, these are some ideas how to piss them off.
There you go!!!
"Love your neighbor" said Jesus.
Fuck that shit, everyone has an annoying neighbor, these are some ideas how to piss them off.
- Kidnap his dog and shave it
- Move your garbage/recycling pile to his/her garbage/recycling pile
- Play Ding-Dong-Ditch at his house
- Prank call him, say u are a stalker, then have your friend talk to you on a walky-talky saying what the guy/girl is doing
- Kidnap his dog
- Watch porn at high volume
- Destroy his garbage/recycling pile
- Kidnap his cat and shave it
- Burn his lawn
- Burn his cat
- Spray paint his/her car saying "Just Got Gay Marriage"
- Take all the air out of their car's wheels
- Break their windows
- Take all the air out of their dog
- Lean a garbage can full of water on their door, then ring their doorbell
- Walk in front of their house in the nude
- Throw fire crackers at their house
- Egg their house
- Shove a fire cracker up their dog's ass
- Put poppers under their car's wheels
- Fuck their cat
- Fuck their wife/husband
- Put crap in a paper bag, light it on fire, leave it at their doorstep, and then ring the doorbell
- Stick your ass on their bedroom window
- Shit on their bedroom window
- Shit on their cat
- Steal their mail
- Knock down their mailbox
- Piss down their chimmeny
- Piss on their dog
- Give them blackmail
- Shit on a piece of paper, stick it on an envelope, put it on their mailbox
- Shit down their chimmeny
- Throw fire crackers down their chimmeny
- Piss in their water connection, and while your at it, piss down their cat and dog's throat
There you go!!!
Have fun!!!
22 Ways to Kill a Man With Your Bare Hands
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
"Free my hands and I'll varnish this floor with your brains!"
"Free my hands and I'll varnish this floor with your brains!"
-- from "The Scarlet Citadel" by Robert E. Howard.
Sometimes when you are threatened with physical violence, a weapon to defend yourself with is not always available. Your hands, however, are always with you, and can be as lethal as any weapon. Below are a list of attacks that police are instructed not employ, as they may prove deadly.- TEMPLE - A very susceptibile vital spot. If struck with sufficient force, may cause unconsciousness or death.
- NASION - This is the summit of the nose. If struck with sufficient force may cause death.
- PHILTRUM - This is the area between the upper lip and the bottom of the nose. Attack to this area may also cause unconsciousness or death.
- HOOK TO JAW - A powerful hook punch to the front side of jaw may snap an enemy's neck. Fatal.
- ADAM'S APPLE - A sharp blow here may cause enemy to asphyxiate.
- SOLAR PLEXUS - The small of back. May cause death.
- TESTICLES - The strong, focused pain of a vicious low blow may cause shock, resulting in death.
- BASE OF CEREBELLUM - A powerful blow to the nape of the neck, causing mortal damage.
- COCCYX - A powerful blow to the tail bone. Fatal.
- FULL NELSON - Stand behind the enemy, put your arms under his, and lock your hands behind his head. Bending the neck forward may either break neck, asphyxiate enemy, or cut of supply of spinal fluid to brain, causing brain damage or death.
- HALF NELSON - Again, standing behind enemy, but one arm is used to pin one of enemy's arms.
- BRAIN BUSTER - Bend enemy over towards you, placing him in a headlock. Grab the back of his belt, and haul him into the air, vertical, upside-down. Allow yourself to fall backward, landing on your enemy's head, which will absorb your combined weight. Most effective on concrete or gravel.
- RUSSIAN OMELET - Cross enemy's legs. Fold enemy by pinning his shoulders to ground upside-down and placing his legs above him. Sit on his legs, folding the bass of the spine. Fatal.
- HEART PUNCH - A strongman's attack, it is simply a powerful blow to the heart. (Many years ago, the wrestler Ox killed an opposing wrestler with this attack.)
- UPPERCUT - An upward strike to the bottom of the jaw with the heel of the hand, causing the enemy's head to snap backward. May shatter vertabrae. Fatal.
- ABDOMEN - A substantial blow to this area may rupture a vital organ, causing death.
- RIB CAGE - A vicious shattering of the rib cage may cause grave internal bleeding.
- HEAD-TO-WALL PUNCH - A swift, hard, cold-cock punch to an enemy's face while he is standing near a wall may drive his head into it, causing the back of the skull to shatter fatally.
- PINNED DROP KICK - Standing behind enemy, holding his arms straight back. A drop kick to the back without releasing arms may severe spine, causing death.
- HEAD WRENCH - Grabbing an enemy's head by the mouth and the back of the skull, then twisting with a sudden, violent jerk to rend vertabrae, may easily cause death.
- CHOKE HOLD - Once a favorite of law enforcement officials, has often proved deadly. The right arm goes over the enemy's right shoulder, and grips the back of the head. The left arm comes over his left shoulder, reaches across neck, and grabs own right forearm. With enough pressure applied, causes brain damage or death.
- HEAD YANK - Bend enemy forward, grab head, and pull back with convincing force. May seperate delicate vertebrae, causing death.
20 Ways to Sabotage Your School
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
THIS WAS FIRST PRINTED IN 1968 BY SOME HIGH SCHOOL KIDS IN AMERICA'S INDUSTRIAL HARTLAND AND MOST RECENTLY (IN ENGLISH AT ANY RATE) IN ENGLAND AFTER THE RIOTS THERE IN 1982. OF COURSE I REPRINTED IT FOR PURELY EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES - JUST TO SHOW YOU HOW IRRESOPNSIBLE FREE SPEECH CAN GET. I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ACTIONS OF INDIVIDUALS WHO USE THIS TEXT.
1.PUT A ROTTON APPLE OR STALE SANDWICH IN THE TEACHERS DESK.
2.STEAL THE ATTENDANCE BOOK. ADD IN AND RUB OUT TICKS, AND REPLACE OR JUST BURN IT. SAME GOES FOR UNGUARDED CONDUCT SHEETS OR REPORTS. DON'T MISS YOUR CHANCE.
3.FILL A SYRINGE (MINUS NEEDLE) WITH MIXED EPOXY & ALCOHOL. YOU NOW HAVE 30 MINUTES TO FILL LOCKS, ETC., BEFORE THE GLUE HARDENS. YOU CAN ALSO USE CEMENT, SUPER GLUE OR EVEN BITS OF WOOD, NAILS, ETC.
4.ANOTHER USE OF THE SYRINGE IS TO PRETEND TO SHOOT UP WHEN THE TEACHER IS WATCHING. EXPLAIN THAT THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE SCHOOL IS SO HORRIBLE
5.PHONE THE SCHOOL AT RANDOM TIMES. TRY FLOOD, FIRE OR BOMB WARNINGS. DISGUISE YOUR VOICE AND HOLD A HANDKERCHIEF OVER YOUR MOUTH.
6.PRETEND TO HAVE FOOD POISONING. (AFTER LUNCH BREAK) GET LOTS OF PEOPLE TO JOIN IN. ROLL ON THE FLOOR, OR GET SICK BY PUSHING YOUR FINGERS DOWN YOUR THROAT. TRY IT IN ASSEMBLY. WITH LUCK YOU CAN START GENERAL PANIC.
7.DRAW OR PAINT SLOGANS ON ROLL DOWN MAPS OR SLIDE SCREENS. OBSCENITIES ARE BEST
8.HAND OUT NOTICES TO NEW PUPILS TELLING THEM WHICH TEACHERS ARE NASTY & WHY.
9.BAD FOOD? HAVE A GOOD OLD FASHIONED FOOD RIOT.
10.ORGANIZE MASSIVE SEARCHES FOR "LOST" CONTACT LENSES IN GYM CLASS OR IN HALLWAYS BETWEEN CLASSES. DON'T LET ANYONE WALK THROUGH THE HALL AS THEY MIGHT STEP ON IT. PRETENDING YOU'VE LOST SOMETHING IS A GOOD COVER FOR ALL KINDS OF SUBVERSIVE BEHAVIOR.
11.IF YOU STILL HAVE TO WEAR UNIFORMS, TRY WEARING THEM BACK TO FRONT IN PROTEST. OR DARE BOYS & GIRLS TO WEAR EACH OTHER'S UNIFORMS. IF THIS DOESN'T WORK, TRY A BLANKET PROTEST.
12.TRY POLITICAL GAMES. SCHOOL IS 12 YEARS BRAINWASHING WITHOUT TRIAL. SLOWDOWNS, WORK TO RULES, STRIKES AND OCCUPATIONS ARE FUN. BUT DON'T LET LEADERS OR EGO TRIPPERS SPEAK FOR YOU.
13.GET EVERYONE TO BRING IN ALL THEIR PETS TO SCHOOL TO SHOW THE TEACHER.
14.WRITE DOWN A LIST OF ALL THE STUPID RUBBISH OR RULES YOU HAVE TO LEARN & HAND IT OUT ON SPORTS DAY OR OPEN DAY.
15.NOW & THEN GET LOADS OF STUDENTS TO RUSH TO THE OFFICE TO GET A RUMOR CONFIRMED OR DENIED.
16.MAKE A CITIZENS ARREST ON YOUR WORST TEACHER. DRAG HIM/HER IN FRONT OF THE CLASS AND PUT HIM/HER ON TRIAL FOR ROTTING THE MINDS OF YOUTH.
17.RIP OFF DISHES AND SILVERWARE FROM THE CAFATERIA, OFFICE EQUIPMENT FROM THE OFFICE, PAINT ETC. FROM THE ART ROOM, LIGHT BULBS FROM THE SOCKETS, TOILET PAPER FROM THE JACKS, ETC.,ETC. DONATE THEM TO YOURSELVES OR LOCAL ANARCHIST GROUP.
18.DURRING LUNCH BREAK TURN ON AND LIGHT ALL GAS TAPS IN THE SCIENCE LAB. MAKE SURE YOUR NOT CAUGHT AT THIS PRANK & TRY A GOOD DISGUISE.
19.GET EVERYONE TO DEMAND TO SEE THEIR SCHOOL RECORDS FILES, EVERYONE ELSE (POLICE, SOCIAL WORKERS, ETC.) IS ALLOWED TO SEE THEM.
20.MAKE A FUSE BY STICKING A CIGARETTE BETWEEN THE TWO ROWS IN A MATCH BOOK. NON-FILTER CIGARETTES ARE GOOD BUT MARLBORO ARE BEST 'CAUSE THEY USE MORE NITRATE TO MAKE 'EM BURN FASTER. TOSS THE FUSE IN A WASTE BIN, OR ANYWHERE WITH LOTS OF BURNABLES. THE OFFICE IS BEST. WAIT 5 MINUTES. CALL ALARM YOURSELF TO AVOID ANY "ACCIDENTS." PRACTICE AT HOME FIRST.
THIS WAS FIRST PRINTED IN 1968 BY SOME HIGH SCHOOL KIDS IN AMERICA'S INDUSTRIAL HARTLAND AND MOST RECENTLY (IN ENGLISH AT ANY RATE) IN ENGLAND AFTER THE RIOTS THERE IN 1982. OF COURSE I REPRINTED IT FOR PURELY EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES - JUST TO SHOW YOU HOW IRRESOPNSIBLE FREE SPEECH CAN GET. I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ACTIONS OF INDIVIDUALS WHO USE THIS TEXT.
1.PUT A ROTTON APPLE OR STALE SANDWICH IN THE TEACHERS DESK.
2.STEAL THE ATTENDANCE BOOK. ADD IN AND RUB OUT TICKS, AND REPLACE OR JUST BURN IT. SAME GOES FOR UNGUARDED CONDUCT SHEETS OR REPORTS. DON'T MISS YOUR CHANCE.
3.FILL A SYRINGE (MINUS NEEDLE) WITH MIXED EPOXY & ALCOHOL. YOU NOW HAVE 30 MINUTES TO FILL LOCKS, ETC., BEFORE THE GLUE HARDENS. YOU CAN ALSO USE CEMENT, SUPER GLUE OR EVEN BITS OF WOOD, NAILS, ETC.
4.ANOTHER USE OF THE SYRINGE IS TO PRETEND TO SHOOT UP WHEN THE TEACHER IS WATCHING. EXPLAIN THAT THAT YOU HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE SCHOOL IS SO HORRIBLE
5.PHONE THE SCHOOL AT RANDOM TIMES. TRY FLOOD, FIRE OR BOMB WARNINGS. DISGUISE YOUR VOICE AND HOLD A HANDKERCHIEF OVER YOUR MOUTH.
6.PRETEND TO HAVE FOOD POISONING. (AFTER LUNCH BREAK) GET LOTS OF PEOPLE TO JOIN IN. ROLL ON THE FLOOR, OR GET SICK BY PUSHING YOUR FINGERS DOWN YOUR THROAT. TRY IT IN ASSEMBLY. WITH LUCK YOU CAN START GENERAL PANIC.
7.DRAW OR PAINT SLOGANS ON ROLL DOWN MAPS OR SLIDE SCREENS. OBSCENITIES ARE BEST
8.HAND OUT NOTICES TO NEW PUPILS TELLING THEM WHICH TEACHERS ARE NASTY & WHY.
9.BAD FOOD? HAVE A GOOD OLD FASHIONED FOOD RIOT.
10.ORGANIZE MASSIVE SEARCHES FOR "LOST" CONTACT LENSES IN GYM CLASS OR IN HALLWAYS BETWEEN CLASSES. DON'T LET ANYONE WALK THROUGH THE HALL AS THEY MIGHT STEP ON IT. PRETENDING YOU'VE LOST SOMETHING IS A GOOD COVER FOR ALL KINDS OF SUBVERSIVE BEHAVIOR.
11.IF YOU STILL HAVE TO WEAR UNIFORMS, TRY WEARING THEM BACK TO FRONT IN PROTEST. OR DARE BOYS & GIRLS TO WEAR EACH OTHER'S UNIFORMS. IF THIS DOESN'T WORK, TRY A BLANKET PROTEST.
12.TRY POLITICAL GAMES. SCHOOL IS 12 YEARS BRAINWASHING WITHOUT TRIAL. SLOWDOWNS, WORK TO RULES, STRIKES AND OCCUPATIONS ARE FUN. BUT DON'T LET LEADERS OR EGO TRIPPERS SPEAK FOR YOU.
13.GET EVERYONE TO BRING IN ALL THEIR PETS TO SCHOOL TO SHOW THE TEACHER.
14.WRITE DOWN A LIST OF ALL THE STUPID RUBBISH OR RULES YOU HAVE TO LEARN & HAND IT OUT ON SPORTS DAY OR OPEN DAY.
15.NOW & THEN GET LOADS OF STUDENTS TO RUSH TO THE OFFICE TO GET A RUMOR CONFIRMED OR DENIED.
16.MAKE A CITIZENS ARREST ON YOUR WORST TEACHER. DRAG HIM/HER IN FRONT OF THE CLASS AND PUT HIM/HER ON TRIAL FOR ROTTING THE MINDS OF YOUTH.
17.RIP OFF DISHES AND SILVERWARE FROM THE CAFATERIA, OFFICE EQUIPMENT FROM THE OFFICE, PAINT ETC. FROM THE ART ROOM, LIGHT BULBS FROM THE SOCKETS, TOILET PAPER FROM THE JACKS, ETC.,ETC. DONATE THEM TO YOURSELVES OR LOCAL ANARCHIST GROUP.
18.DURRING LUNCH BREAK TURN ON AND LIGHT ALL GAS TAPS IN THE SCIENCE LAB. MAKE SURE YOUR NOT CAUGHT AT THIS PRANK & TRY A GOOD DISGUISE.
19.GET EVERYONE TO DEMAND TO SEE THEIR SCHOOL RECORDS FILES, EVERYONE ELSE (POLICE, SOCIAL WORKERS, ETC.) IS ALLOWED TO SEE THEM.
20.MAKE A FUSE BY STICKING A CIGARETTE BETWEEN THE TWO ROWS IN A MATCH BOOK. NON-FILTER CIGARETTES ARE GOOD BUT MARLBORO ARE BEST 'CAUSE THEY USE MORE NITRATE TO MAKE 'EM BURN FASTER. TOSS THE FUSE IN A WASTE BIN, OR ANYWHERE WITH LOTS OF BURNABLES. THE OFFICE IS BEST. WAIT 5 MINUTES. CALL ALARM YOURSELF TO AVOID ANY "ACCIDENTS." PRACTICE AT HOME FIRST.
20 Things to Do When You Are Bored in Class
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We have all been bored out of our fucking skulls in school from time to time. Here is a list of interesting and fun things to do I have compiled from my own personal list.
We have all been bored out of our fucking skulls in school from time to time. Here is a list of interesting and fun things to do I have compiled from my own personal list.
- Make a paper football and get someone to play with you. When they put their hands up into a little goal, flick the football at the teacher and immediatly go back to doing your work.
- Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud enough for the class to hear "When I say heeee-aay, you say hoooo, Heeee-aay" and see how many people say "ho"
- At another quiet time, shout out "Marco" and then in a squeeky voice shout out "Polo seinior"
- Practice your ty-chi. Wave your arms all around like your really know what you are doing.
- Meditate. Humm as loud as you can and when your teacher says something about it, act all offended. "Do you have a problem with my religion, sir!?"
- If one of your friends is drinking something, in the middle of a drink start chanting "chug! chug! chug!"
- When the class is very quiet, say in a casual voice "Knock knock"
- When the class is quiet, sigh and say "This class is really boring"
- Shoot rubber bands at someone, when they accuse you look confused and point to the person to the left of you. After that, point to the person on the right of you ect...
- If you are black start singing country music, if you are white start rapping.
- Make as many paperballs as you can and set them on your desk in a giant pile. If anyone looks at you, look tough and nod at them.
- If you are a male, start singing Brittany Spears's "Hit me baby one more time" complete with raise the roof action.
- Take everything out of your backpack and stack it on your desk. Take out a sheet of paper and take invintory of your stuff.
- Take an empty gum wrapper and put it in your palm, then signal someone by going "pssssst. Hey!" Make them lean all close to you and get them thinking you have something interesting to say. Look around and then give them the gumwrapper.
- See how many tiny paper balls you can set on the person in front of you without them knowing it.
- Tie someones shoe's together and kick them.
- Use a kick me sign. As a challenge, see how many people you can put a kick me sign on without them knowing it.
- Start singing "Can you feel the love tonight" from the Lion King.
- Fall asleep. When you wake up say shit like "I had a dream and you were in it. And you! You too!...
- Blurt out chinese waiter talk. "SHICKEN FRIE RIE, SEVEN DOLLA"
1001 Ways to Torture a Cat
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11/28/88
Many a time have I wanted to beat the shit out of that furry little bastard that always seems to piss me off. Either by taking a nice warm shit on my brand new carpet, or decided to use me as a clawing device.
In this small file, i'd like to suggest ways to hurt or piss of the little shithead that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks it's the nicest fucker alive.
1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the fucker get's in your way, whether it be when you're taking a shit and it comes in and watches, or when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force into it and BLAM! The fucker goes flying. It's especially nice to watch a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in the air.
2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really get to it's tail, you can do shit with it and the cat it defenseless. Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks, it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk. Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry fucks will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.
3 -- Wiskers (heh, heh, heh)....Ok, you know who you are people, you kind that clips cat's wiskers and laughs like hell. Cat's use wiskers to navigate in the dark, like when they're entering a tight spot, their wiskers will tell them if they're about to run into something (kind of like those cadillacs with those metal tubes sticking out the side). So what do you do? You cut the fuckers wiskers, down to you start getting fur. Then you gotta through the cat in a closet, and open the door, oh, about 4 inches. The cat will naturally be fucked and stunned that us humans would do such a thing (it probably is equlivant of a cat cutting off your dick) and he'll start bumping around, wondering what the fuck....So you just sit there and laugh your ass off. The cat might eventually make it's way out of the closet, but maybe you could, hmmm...Find something else to do to it after that? (grin>
4 -- Pillow Case....Well, this is kind of funny...All you do is throw the little fuck in a pillow case, and go into an open room (you don't want to beat it to death, well, not yet adleast). And start swinging the fucker around in circles, again and again, the cat will probably crying for it's life (but don't give in to it's whining, cuz when it get's out, it wants blood) keep swinging it around and around, faster and faster, stop when you're too dizzy to figure out where the cat is, then quickly open the pillow case and let the bastard fall out (it WILL fall, believe me). You got to make sure you can see it (cuz you're gonna me almost as dizzy). The fucker will be sitting there, moving it's head in circles, still thinking it spinning. This is the good part, cuz as far as the cat knows, it's totally high on Catnip or something. You can do anything, it's up to you.
4 -- Water ...We all know that cats hate water more than dogs, and would rather travel in a car then deal with it. But cat's are funny as hell in water. Try filling up a tub, or a sink, or something with water in it that the cat will fit in. Throw the fucker in for a minute or two (unless it's definitely going to drown, we'll talk about killing them later) and watch it squeal..They act like water is acid or something and yet they still drink water out of the toilet when none is available (these fuckers gotta get their facts straight). After the cat has had enough torture, grab it by the ear, or tail, or get a good grab around it's head and throw it out (throw it outside you fool). When a cat get's wet (especially a long-haired cat) they look like giant ferrets, really nasty like (which might persuade you to do something else, like nail it to a 2 by 4 and shoot it full of b-b's) but don't hurt it too bad..
5 -- Misc. shit....Stick the cat in the Microwave (no, really) and don't turn it on (yet) just let it sit there, and look through the little see-through window...It should be scared as hell, since it's in a really tight spot, can't move much at all...If you really want to screw the fucker, nuke it! Just nuke it for 20 seconds at a time...The cat will start squirming at about 10 seconds (depending on the wattage of the Microwave)...After about 30 seconds, the cat will definitely have radiation poisioning, which will probably kill it within a month or less. If you nuke it for a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute, it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death. Of course, you can go "All-Out" if you REALLY express rage for it, and can nuke it for 5 minutes...This is NOT for the Squeamish....I DO know someone who did this, and saw it....It was pretty fucking gross, and being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it. In 30 seconds, it starts kicking and screaming and freaking out (which brings me to the point, you gotta make sure the door can't be opened, and you gotta make sure you don't want the microwave anymore). In 1 minute, it was started to spaz like nothing you've ever seen before, some blood was coming from it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking did, all types of seisures and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass...At 3 minutes, it's almost dead...The smell of the cat would make any mortician throw up, that's why I would suggest alot of open windows and doors and some type of gas mask on. The last two minutes it the cool part...Now that the fucker is dead (for good reason too) it's time to watch the fireworks...I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight..At about, 4 mins 15 seconds, it's fur starts to curl (although it was already crispy) and at about 5 minutes, the whole microwave is one big slaughterhouse. Which brings me to clean up...DON'T! I said earlier, Nuke the cat in a microwave you no longer want to use (not to mention the microwave is probably broken anyway). Just throw the microwave away and chuckle off a couple laughs...Even take poloraids if you want.
You're probably saying, how the fuck is he going to write another 996 ways to torture a cat? Well, the answer is, he ain't.
Another Morbid file Written by Ares -- 11/28/88
11/28/88
Many a time have I wanted to beat the shit out of that furry little bastard that always seems to piss me off. Either by taking a nice warm shit on my brand new carpet, or decided to use me as a clawing device.
In this small file, i'd like to suggest ways to hurt or piss of the little shithead that you can't get rid of, usually cuz you're mom thinks it's the nicest fucker alive.
1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the fucker get's in your way, whether it be when you're taking a shit and it comes in and watches, or when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force into it and BLAM! The fucker goes flying. It's especially nice to watch a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in the air.
2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really get to it's tail, you can do shit with it and the cat it defenseless. Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks, it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk. Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry fucks will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.
3 -- Wiskers (heh, heh, heh)....Ok, you know who you are people, you kind that clips cat's wiskers and laughs like hell. Cat's use wiskers to navigate in the dark, like when they're entering a tight spot, their wiskers will tell them if they're about to run into something (kind of like those cadillacs with those metal tubes sticking out the side). So what do you do? You cut the fuckers wiskers, down to you start getting fur. Then you gotta through the cat in a closet, and open the door, oh, about 4 inches. The cat will naturally be fucked and stunned that us humans would do such a thing (it probably is equlivant of a cat cutting off your dick) and he'll start bumping around, wondering what the fuck....So you just sit there and laugh your ass off. The cat might eventually make it's way out of the closet, but maybe you could, hmmm...Find something else to do to it after that? (grin>
4 -- Pillow Case....Well, this is kind of funny...All you do is throw the little fuck in a pillow case, and go into an open room (you don't want to beat it to death, well, not yet adleast). And start swinging the fucker around in circles, again and again, the cat will probably crying for it's life (but don't give in to it's whining, cuz when it get's out, it wants blood) keep swinging it around and around, faster and faster, stop when you're too dizzy to figure out where the cat is, then quickly open the pillow case and let the bastard fall out (it WILL fall, believe me). You got to make sure you can see it (cuz you're gonna me almost as dizzy). The fucker will be sitting there, moving it's head in circles, still thinking it spinning. This is the good part, cuz as far as the cat knows, it's totally high on Catnip or something. You can do anything, it's up to you.
4 -- Water ...We all know that cats hate water more than dogs, and would rather travel in a car then deal with it. But cat's are funny as hell in water. Try filling up a tub, or a sink, or something with water in it that the cat will fit in. Throw the fucker in for a minute or two (unless it's definitely going to drown, we'll talk about killing them later) and watch it squeal..They act like water is acid or something and yet they still drink water out of the toilet when none is available (these fuckers gotta get their facts straight). After the cat has had enough torture, grab it by the ear, or tail, or get a good grab around it's head and throw it out (throw it outside you fool). When a cat get's wet (especially a long-haired cat) they look like giant ferrets, really nasty like (which might persuade you to do something else, like nail it to a 2 by 4 and shoot it full of b-b's) but don't hurt it too bad..
5 -- Misc. shit....Stick the cat in the Microwave (no, really) and don't turn it on (yet) just let it sit there, and look through the little see-through window...It should be scared as hell, since it's in a really tight spot, can't move much at all...If you really want to screw the fucker, nuke it! Just nuke it for 20 seconds at a time...The cat will start squirming at about 10 seconds (depending on the wattage of the Microwave)...After about 30 seconds, the cat will definitely have radiation poisioning, which will probably kill it within a month or less. If you nuke it for a minute, you'll probably kill it, depending on the size of the cat, the microwave cooks inside out, so after a minute, it's intestines and lungs will be a little toasty, maybe killing it, if not, probably sterilizing it or leaving it a slow and terrible death. Of course, you can go "All-Out" if you REALLY express rage for it, and can nuke it for 5 minutes...This is NOT for the Squeamish....I DO know someone who did this, and saw it....It was pretty fucking gross, and being the cat hater I am, I still felt sorry for it. In 30 seconds, it starts kicking and screaming and freaking out (which brings me to the point, you gotta make sure the door can't be opened, and you gotta make sure you don't want the microwave anymore). In 1 minute, it was started to spaz like nothing you've ever seen before, some blood was coming from it's mouth due to internal cuts the Nuking did, all types of seisures and some last moans were following at 2 minutes. At about 2 and a half minutes, the cat was still alive, it's pupils were dialated and it was twitching like someone stuck a Electrolysis gun up it's ass...At 3 minutes, it's almost dead...The smell of the cat would make any mortician throw up, that's why I would suggest alot of open windows and doors and some type of gas mask on. The last two minutes it the cool part...Now that the fucker is dead (for good reason too) it's time to watch the fireworks...I think at around 4 minutes, the cat started popping, it's eyeballs literally popped out of it's sockets, and the blood started to ooze, not a pretty sight..At about, 4 mins 15 seconds, it's fur starts to curl (although it was already crispy) and at about 5 minutes, the whole microwave is one big slaughterhouse. Which brings me to clean up...DON'T! I said earlier, Nuke the cat in a microwave you no longer want to use (not to mention the microwave is probably broken anyway). Just throw the microwave away and chuckle off a couple laughs...Even take poloraids if you want.
You're probably saying, how the fuck is he going to write another 996 ways to torture a cat? Well, the answer is, he ain't.
Another Morbid file Written by Ares -- 11/28/88
100 Ways to be a Better Asshole
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
Peace out!
Peace out!
- Argue with everybody.
- Touch the paintings at the museum.
- Get hysterical.
- Threaten law suits.
- Insinuate, implicate and insist.
- If you got it, flaunt it.
- Eat produce at the grocery store and don't pay for it.
- Gamble with the rent money.
- Record over a borrowed vcr tape
- Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren't.
- Don't get caught.
- Stay directly in front or behine fire trucks and ambulances.
- When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two.
- Don't make up your mind.
- Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.
- Remind people who lose their job that they should work harder.
- Talk with your mouth full.
- Accuse, confuse and refuse.
- Comment on the weight gain of others.
- Adjust your nuts (boob) whenever you want.
- Keep a pile of wisecracks for tense and serious situations.
- Answer a question with a question.
- See what it takes for the lifeguard to blow the whistle.
- Don't give to charities unless you get something back.
- Add the straw that breaks the camels back.
- Clean your finger nails at the dinner table.
- Tell people what they think they wanna hear.
- Notice good ideas and pass them on as your own.
- Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner or hotel reservations.
- Don't volunteer for the back seat and never take the middle one.
- Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
- Never do anything until you have been asked twice.
- Put off until tomorrow whatever you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Spot test "Wet Paint" signs.
- Go up on the down escalator and vice versa.
- Dont shower after a hard workout.
- Lie about your age.
- Change channels every two seconds
- Develop at least 3 strategies for cutting if front of a
- Underline in other peoples books.
- Slurp your soup.
- If you can't think of something nice, say something nasty.
- Be judgmental.
- Announce when your going to the bathroom.
- Read over peoples shoulders on the bus.
- Ignore deadlines.
- Revenge is sweet... so get some.
- Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while your at it, leave the cap off.
- Curse the umpire at a Little League game.
- When it says "Reserved Parking" that means you.
- Take the labels off of unopened cans.
- Cover up your mistakes and pass the blame.
- Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one that you want.
- Borrow handkerchiefs to blow your nose.
- When your done with your gum, stick it under the chair.
- If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.
- Bribe little kids... cause they're easy!
- Put a rude message on someone elses answering machine.
- Measure people by their money and the clothes they wear.
- Be ambiguous, it lets you work both sides of the issue.
- Leave your underwear in the sink.
- Chew other peoples pencils.
- Support the death penalty for parking tickets.
- Get a backseat drivers license.
- Dish it out, but don't take it.
- Be a perfectionist in absolutely everything.
- Apologize a lot, but don't change.
- Change the rules to suit your needs.
- Put your cigarette out in planters.
- Wear a shirt thats says 'Fuck You' or to that affect.
- Pull the covers over to your side.
- Eat cookies or crackers in bed.
- Let doors slam behind you ? in people's faces.
- Repeat yourself.
- Repeat yourself.
- Tell your kids 'How it was..' back when you were a kid.
- Vividly describe a hysterectomy to your date before ordering dinner.
- Scribble your signature on important documents.
- Use the whole can of starter fluid on the charcoal.
- Put things back where they don't belong.
- Take a colicky baby to the movies.
- Have belching contests in restaurants.
- Make the same mistake twice.
- Pee in the swimming pool.
- Ride on the shoulder un you pass all the jammed traffic, and then cut in.
- Wear a large hat to the movies.
- Always have an ulterior motive.
- Always take the biggest piece.
- Forget the pooper scooper when walking your dog.
- Take cheap shots.
- Take forever to find a word in Scrabble.
- Cause gridlock.
- Get up on the wrong side of bed.
- Change your mind.
- Glue a chip on your shoulder.
- Put salt in sugar containers.
- Blow out other peoples birthday candles.
- Don't refill the ice cube tray.
- Ask people what they paid for their clothes.
- Cut off people in the middle of their sentences.
- Practice pulling the wool over people's faces.
10 Things To Do At a Wal-Mart
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
The below text is just for informational purposes only, unless your really bored, I don't give a shit its your call. So... here it is :P
Hope you use this information wisely, but as i said before, i don't give a shit what you do. Thanks!
The below text is just for informational purposes only, unless your really bored, I don't give a shit its your call. So... here it is :P
- Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
- Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
- Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
- When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
- While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
- Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
- In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels
- Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again." .....and last but not least,
- Go into a fitting room and yell loudly, "Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!"
Hope you use this information wisely, but as i said before, i don't give a shit what you do. Thanks!
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