Need Protection? Need Money? Need Women? Need the law to give you a break? Need Respect? Want the easy life? If you answered yes to at least half of lease your ready to star a Mafia family.
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
1-Get a crew together, friends from back in the day, some boys you can trust. Get 3-5, and you can start, if you don't know any local Dons or don't live near anybody. You'll have to pick a Don out of your crew.
2-With the Don, He must appoint a UnderBoss,or Capo Bastone - the one he trusts most shouls fill this position.
3-Now the Don should pick a Consigliere, a verteran criminal is required here, better yet a real made man.
4-The rest will be caporegime, and they'll need to recruit 3-10 men for soldiers in a crew. The capo runs that crew, though he is run by the UnderBoss who is run by the Don.
5-If you meet another family Don who started up like you did from this text file, then unite your familys and elect a Godfather, or Padrone, to look over the Dons.
If your the Godfather over 200 men or more, you could be making millions of dollars a month.
Rules to live by;
1-Respect the Omerta, the vow a Mafioso takes, he musn't tell anyone about his ill dealings, or he should be put to rest.
2-NO DRUGS, Drugs kill ambition, kill men, and kill organizations, not to mention-Drug Dealers get harsh penalties in prison.
3-RESPECT THOSE WHO HAVE CAME BEFORE YOU-Respecting those who came before you is important in two ways. you must hand a cut of the take to your capo, or whomever is directly above you on the Mafia org. Chart. Then, this rules goes hand in hand with the first, by breaking the omerta, you dishonor men who never broke the Omerta, possibly dieing because of it.
4-RESPECT THE LORD YOUR GOD, though he frowns on your ill dealings, he still loves you, and you should love him, Theres only one way out, but what you do now helps God decide where you go after your killed. Ok, those are the basics, now I'll give you a little list of How-to's.
1-Shakedown:
A-Blackmail an important person, local politicians, prominent buisness man, entertainment star, one with much to lose as depends on the public eye. Don't Blackmail average people , they are far more willing to go to the cops.
B-Extortion, pretty simple-make them an offer they can't refuse, or an offer they can refuse but with sever penalties. Sever penalties are only restricted by imagination.
2-Loan Sharking: Lend someone money who needs some, with a ludicrous vig{Intrest rate}, like 20 points{percent} a month or in a small amount, a week.
3-Protection: If someone needs Mafia protection, the person is often willing to pay alot of money to do so. Lok for someone like a gang member or bullied kid to turn a real profit.
4-Gambling: Give people free food, drinks, and maybe even broads, so they will come and gamble against each other, make sure the table{you; the mini casino;the pot} takes 10 points of whats bet, and you'll turn a real profit.
5-Gambling2: Have people bet on Sports games and write their bet down in your books, people may bet the same way or for the other team, but make your profit from taking points from peoples profit and making odds in the favor of underdogs.
If you're lucky you can lie cheat and steal enough for a comfortable lifestyle
Thursday, April 28, 2011
How to Piss Off Lunch Ladies
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
Well this is pretty easy stuff to do.
Well this is pretty easy stuff to do.
- Put pubic hair in your food and make them take it back.
- Take a hell of a lot mayo or mustard packs right in front of them until they yell at you.
- Ask why all the fake food is so expensive and when they get mad go what the hell did i do.
- Get your food and then when you go to pay go crazy and act like you can't find your money.
- Drop your plate on the floor and spaz out and yell out shit or any swear and then whine for another lunch.
- Pick up a spoon and say it's dirty and take another and say its dirty keep doin this till they yell at you.
- When you go to pay drop your money on the floor and say to the lunch lady why the hell did you drop my damn money.
- Instead of using the tongs to pick up your food stick your hand in the food when one of the lunch ladies walks by.
How to Lead a Revolution Against a Teacher
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
1. Do not listen to anything they say. If they say something repeat after it has been said "What?". This works really well if they have just explained a very long and complicated procedure.
2. If you are playing a game with them for example baseball or cricket always aim the ball at them and if it does in fact hit them deny, deny, deny.
3. Take your time at everything you do. If they shout at you go even slower. If they tell you to start running jog but go even slower.
4. Act so immature that they will not be able to take it. Shouting is a good sign. If they shout, laugh all they way through.
5. Make note of everything they say. Watch for anything that you will be able to say against them. For example if they get your name wrong, then get their name wrong, but make that name humerous and also keep calling them that until the end of the lesson. When my subject teacher got my name wrong, i got me and my friends to call him Mr Wiggles even though his name was Mr Pugh!!!
6. Randomly start to sing or mumble insane rambling under your tongue and then claim that its a medical condition that the docters cannot cure.
7. Pretend that you are mentally disabled and start to have a fit on the floor in front of them. If they start to get really worried, suddenly jump up so that your face is inches away from his and shout "Got Ya" and laugh loudly.
8. Finally if you have nothing to lose attach your tie of a long piece of material round your head, jump on the table and chant "Down with <<Teacher's last name>>, Hes crap at teaching". After generally cause chaos and fashion weapons from rulers, pens and erasers (throw the erasers round the room). Then run out of the room hitting everything you go past with your weapon so that it makes a loud noise.
Golden Rule: Only do these things if your friends are willing to participate. The teacher cannot punish the whole class. If they do give you detention, do the same during detention and so on.
With luck after this your teacher will get so scared that they leave the school and thus you will get another teacher to torment and distress.
1. Do not listen to anything they say. If they say something repeat after it has been said "What?". This works really well if they have just explained a very long and complicated procedure.
2. If you are playing a game with them for example baseball or cricket always aim the ball at them and if it does in fact hit them deny, deny, deny.
3. Take your time at everything you do. If they shout at you go even slower. If they tell you to start running jog but go even slower.
4. Act so immature that they will not be able to take it. Shouting is a good sign. If they shout, laugh all they way through.
5. Make note of everything they say. Watch for anything that you will be able to say against them. For example if they get your name wrong, then get their name wrong, but make that name humerous and also keep calling them that until the end of the lesson. When my subject teacher got my name wrong, i got me and my friends to call him Mr Wiggles even though his name was Mr Pugh!!!
6. Randomly start to sing or mumble insane rambling under your tongue and then claim that its a medical condition that the docters cannot cure.
7. Pretend that you are mentally disabled and start to have a fit on the floor in front of them. If they start to get really worried, suddenly jump up so that your face is inches away from his and shout "Got Ya" and laugh loudly.
8. Finally if you have nothing to lose attach your tie of a long piece of material round your head, jump on the table and chant "Down with <<Teacher's last name>>, Hes crap at teaching". After generally cause chaos and fashion weapons from rulers, pens and erasers (throw the erasers round the room). Then run out of the room hitting everything you go past with your weapon so that it makes a loud noise.
Golden Rule: Only do these things if your friends are willing to participate. The teacher cannot punish the whole class. If they do give you detention, do the same during detention and so on.
With luck after this your teacher will get so scared that they leave the school and thus you will get another teacher to torment and distress.
Happy Revolting
How to Get Lost
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
If you wanted to dissappear and stay missing here are seven steps to do it.
Step one: change your name. Research newspaper accounts of children dying about the time you were born; note the parents' names and proceed to the Bureau of Vital Statistics to order a copy of the kids birth certificate. Take the birth certificate to the post office and apply for a new Social Security number; if this is a problem, due to new SS regulations, simply advise the Social Security Administration of your name change and have your SSN reflect this. Take your new Social Security card and birth certificate to the voters'-registration office and apply for a voter's card. With these three pieces of identification, you can apply for a driver's license, preferably in a larger city. (Be sure and have those documents sent to an address other than your own, such as that of a mial-forwarding service.
Step two: move to another state. To reduce the possibility of accidentally running into someone you know, move to an area that people are unlikely to like Las Vegas or L.A.
Step three: break off all contact with relatives and friends. A skilled investigator can employ sophisticated pretexts that will decieve even the most alert person, and those closest to you could accidentally betray you.
Step four: give up any serious hobbies. People with special interests live in a small world (except for computerists, as hacking and phreaking is a small world where people don't use real names and phone numbers anyway). One man whose hobby was target shooting was located when his picture was printed in the club newsletter.
Step five: change your vocation. Same reason as step four---it's a small world and someone, someday, may recognize you.
Step six: alter your appearance. This won't fool anyone who knows you well but should be sufficient to throw off casual acquaintances. Dye your hair, cut it, or let it grow out; if you wear glasses or contacts, interchange them; adopt a new clothing style, etc.
Step seven: remain low-key. If your fingerprints are on file, don't get a job that requires them. Do not take a highprofile job. Never achieve a position of great importance. Don't enter legal altercations. Don't do anything that brings attention to yourself.
unknown author in P.I. manual typed by Chris Masters
If you wanted to dissappear and stay missing here are seven steps to do it.
Step one: change your name. Research newspaper accounts of children dying about the time you were born; note the parents' names and proceed to the Bureau of Vital Statistics to order a copy of the kids birth certificate. Take the birth certificate to the post office and apply for a new Social Security number; if this is a problem, due to new SS regulations, simply advise the Social Security Administration of your name change and have your SSN reflect this. Take your new Social Security card and birth certificate to the voters'-registration office and apply for a voter's card. With these three pieces of identification, you can apply for a driver's license, preferably in a larger city. (Be sure and have those documents sent to an address other than your own, such as that of a mial-forwarding service.
Step two: move to another state. To reduce the possibility of accidentally running into someone you know, move to an area that people are unlikely to like Las Vegas or L.A.
Step three: break off all contact with relatives and friends. A skilled investigator can employ sophisticated pretexts that will decieve even the most alert person, and those closest to you could accidentally betray you.
Step four: give up any serious hobbies. People with special interests live in a small world (except for computerists, as hacking and phreaking is a small world where people don't use real names and phone numbers anyway). One man whose hobby was target shooting was located when his picture was printed in the club newsletter.
Step five: change your vocation. Same reason as step four---it's a small world and someone, someday, may recognize you.
Step six: alter your appearance. This won't fool anyone who knows you well but should be sufficient to throw off casual acquaintances. Dye your hair, cut it, or let it grow out; if you wear glasses or contacts, interchange them; adopt a new clothing style, etc.
Step seven: remain low-key. If your fingerprints are on file, don't get a job that requires them. Do not take a highprofile job. Never achieve a position of great importance. Don't enter legal altercations. Don't do anything that brings attention to yourself.
unknown author in P.I. manual typed by Chris Masters
How to Fuck Your School Up
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
This works best if you happen to have alot of derelict friends, as I do... your first day of school you should bring the following items, to insure a prosperous school year:
1) fountain pen (and extra ink refills)
2) 3 tubes of super glue (krazy glue)
3) pennies (about $1.00 worth)
4) balloons (small sized for convieniance)
5) mirror (small hand held)
6) liquid soap
7) lighter, (matches as alternat)
8) firecrackers (ladyfingers are great)
9) screwdrivers and other tools (small)
10) small squeezable bottles (like nasal de-congestant type)
11) wire (10-20 ft)
12) tape recorder mic. (batter operated pref.)
13) ziplock baggies
14) half of an orange
15) light bulb (75 watts and over are great)
This will do for now... some of the cool things to do are, take the pennies and glue them to the cafeteria tables, (and watch the custodians try to get 'em off). This also looks good with silver dollars glued to the fire alarm (so it goes off when the custodian attempts to remove the coin) and to a door some place (principals preferably).
Another thing to do with a coin is, heat it up over a bunson burner (in chem) and just as the bell rings, toss the coin into the hall, i will guarantee you will know when the coin is picked up... while your using the bunson burner, fill your little squeeze bottle with gas, then cap it tight and put it in your pocket... later, take a firecracker, and glue it to the bottle, use a cigarette as a fuse extension, then put it in the bathroom, and get to class fast... (gas and glue make a nice flame)...
While your in the bathroom, place a light bulb over the door, and when the superintendant goes to see what the explosion was, he gets a nice little surprise...
Now for the wire, if you can access a room near your locker, when no one is in the room, take off the speaker cover on the pa system, and hook 2 wires from it, to your mic. (then into your locker) this is good for getting your friends out of classes... just ask for them... (use your tools for that one, and try to be neat about it)...
Now for your mirror, you can use this for getting your, uh..."friends" locker combanation.... after you get that, take that little baggie you got, and put the orange in it... let it sit for a week or four, then open the baggie, and place it in your friends locker... I can guarentee he/she will love it!
Another thing that is fun to do, is, take a penny, and glue it over the key hole on your friends gym locker, just after he goes out, thus he has to truck around all day in his gym stuff, (unless you rent him your screw driver to pry the penny off)
Ballons are fun to play with in chem lab, fill them with the gas that you get out of the taps on the lab desks, then tie up the baloon tight, and drop it out the window to the burn outs below, you know, the ones that are always smoking, they love to pop baloons with light cigaretts, get the picture? good...
Those fountain pens are cool, because if you make a slight jerking motion with your hand, ink squirts all over the room, (or person, what everyour aiming at) it is a good idea not to let the teachers know you have one of those, it makes it too easy to find out who did it when theres ink all over the principals face... (or on the floors, walls, and ceilings...)
Liquid soap is great for use in crowded hallways, it turns everybody into a ice skating star, (works especially well when people come in from the rain)... if your school is anything like the one I goto, people never flush the toiletts, a little liquid soap in here makes for a nice surprise, I mean, what happens when the soap is not flushed out of the toilet, and the suds aren't flushed out either? the janitors have a really good time trying to figure out that one... (glue a quarter in one of the urinals, always a winner)... turn off the water under the sinks too... getting back to the soap, it is also good on the hand railings in hallways and on steps, if you mix perfume with it, some poor grub has to have that stench on him all day.
This works best if you happen to have alot of derelict friends, as I do... your first day of school you should bring the following items, to insure a prosperous school year:
1) fountain pen (and extra ink refills)
2) 3 tubes of super glue (krazy glue)
3) pennies (about $1.00 worth)
4) balloons (small sized for convieniance)
5) mirror (small hand held)
6) liquid soap
7) lighter, (matches as alternat)
8) firecrackers (ladyfingers are great)
9) screwdrivers and other tools (small)
10) small squeezable bottles (like nasal de-congestant type)
11) wire (10-20 ft)
12) tape recorder mic. (batter operated pref.)
13) ziplock baggies
14) half of an orange
15) light bulb (75 watts and over are great)
This will do for now... some of the cool things to do are, take the pennies and glue them to the cafeteria tables, (and watch the custodians try to get 'em off). This also looks good with silver dollars glued to the fire alarm (so it goes off when the custodian attempts to remove the coin) and to a door some place (principals preferably).
Another thing to do with a coin is, heat it up over a bunson burner (in chem) and just as the bell rings, toss the coin into the hall, i will guarantee you will know when the coin is picked up... while your using the bunson burner, fill your little squeeze bottle with gas, then cap it tight and put it in your pocket... later, take a firecracker, and glue it to the bottle, use a cigarette as a fuse extension, then put it in the bathroom, and get to class fast... (gas and glue make a nice flame)...
While your in the bathroom, place a light bulb over the door, and when the superintendant goes to see what the explosion was, he gets a nice little surprise...
Now for the wire, if you can access a room near your locker, when no one is in the room, take off the speaker cover on the pa system, and hook 2 wires from it, to your mic. (then into your locker) this is good for getting your friends out of classes... just ask for them... (use your tools for that one, and try to be neat about it)...
Now for your mirror, you can use this for getting your, uh..."friends" locker combanation.... after you get that, take that little baggie you got, and put the orange in it... let it sit for a week or four, then open the baggie, and place it in your friends locker... I can guarentee he/she will love it!
Another thing that is fun to do, is, take a penny, and glue it over the key hole on your friends gym locker, just after he goes out, thus he has to truck around all day in his gym stuff, (unless you rent him your screw driver to pry the penny off)
Ballons are fun to play with in chem lab, fill them with the gas that you get out of the taps on the lab desks, then tie up the baloon tight, and drop it out the window to the burn outs below, you know, the ones that are always smoking, they love to pop baloons with light cigaretts, get the picture? good...
Those fountain pens are cool, because if you make a slight jerking motion with your hand, ink squirts all over the room, (or person, what everyour aiming at) it is a good idea not to let the teachers know you have one of those, it makes it too easy to find out who did it when theres ink all over the principals face... (or on the floors, walls, and ceilings...)
Liquid soap is great for use in crowded hallways, it turns everybody into a ice skating star, (works especially well when people come in from the rain)... if your school is anything like the one I goto, people never flush the toiletts, a little liquid soap in here makes for a nice surprise, I mean, what happens when the soap is not flushed out of the toilet, and the suds aren't flushed out either? the janitors have a really good time trying to figure out that one... (glue a quarter in one of the urinals, always a winner)... turn off the water under the sinks too... getting back to the soap, it is also good on the hand railings in hallways and on steps, if you mix perfume with it, some poor grub has to have that stench on him all day.
Easy Way to Cheat Parking Meters
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
If you live in any city or busy town, you probably get jacked quite often for an expired meter. In my city those parking enforcement bastards are writing you up seconds after the meter expires. And how about all the money in quarters you dish out? I bet if you added it all up you could feed a small country....those bastards are taking the food out of poor babies mouths!
Well, here is a handy way to never have to pay the parking meter and park scott-free for hours. You will get really good at this and you will never put another quarter in the meter again...(except of course when your mother is with you)
Let me first say that this does NOT work in the brand new meters that are digital. (I'm working on that)
1) park your car in front of the meter
2) while in your car, find a business card or a matchbook or any semi-thick paper. (if it's abusiness card
3)If you have a business card: tear 1 inch off of the end and 1/2 inch off of the bottom (you should have a rectangular piece of card measuring about 2-1/2 x 1-1/2 now) if you have a matchbook: open it up and tear off the cover ane half of the back (that should leave you with a 1-1/2" x 2-1/2" rectangle as well) Any piece of semi-thick paper can be torn into these dimentions. (the envelope from a parking ticket works well too!)
4) Fold the paper in half lenghth-wise and then fold it in half length-wise again. You will now have a pretty thick peice of card now measuring about 2-1/2 inches by 1/4 inch.
5) walk up to the meter (don't get nervous nobody pays any attention to someone putting change in their meter, silly) and insert the folded card into the quarter slot until the paper stops. It''s best that the card is thick and takes a little effort going into the slot. As soon as the card is about half-way in the slot, turn the crank on the meter all the way (this will take a little effort). Turning the crank will pull the card into the slot further. Turn the crank all the way until the yellow "violation" sign appears at the top and sticks. Do not try and turn the crank back in the other direction as this may kick up the red sign (ticket). The point is to jam the meter into it's "broken" position which is the yellow "voilation" sign. When the violation sign is up THEY CANNOT TICKET YOU. You can stay there indefinantely if they don't chalk you...If they chalk you (and this is VERY rare) you get about 2 hours (depending on the meter zone ie: 2 hour max etc.)
6) Tear off any ends of card that may still be protruding from the quarter slot. (if you're really socially concious you can leave it sticking out, then when you return you can pull out the entire card and the meter will be as good as new....but I wouldn't reccomend this as sometimes the metermaid will pull it out herself and then another one will come by later an give you a ticket)
7) test the crank and make sure it's jammed well...If you done it right the crank will be so jammed that you can't even turn it back)
8) go on your merry way and rejoice in the knowlege that you saved another dollar toward the starving children's fund.
Remember: when the yellow "violation" sign is up on the meter you are fine. This just means that the meter is broken and you have immunity from tickets when you're at a broken meter. After a while you will do this without even thinking about it. Remenber to keep plenty of cards or matches in your car.
Note: just in case the metermaids try to crack down on this meter-terrorism, don't have your goddam name on the cards or papers you're inserting into the meter.
Again, once you get the hang of it this system is flawless. And I really don't think the metermaids care that much either since they can easily pull the paper out when they open up the meter to collect the change.
-----
If you live in a big city that has a "Chinatown", then another great way to cheat the meter is to purchase a roll of chinese candy called "HAW FLAKES" at any chinese 5 and dime store.
Haw Flakes come in small rolls of twenty and cost about a nickel a roll. Haw Flakes WORK IN THE METERS AS QUARTERS (not the digital meters). You put in one Haw flake and GENTLY turn the crank. Sometimes they break, so just try again. They do work. Haw Flakes are mighty yummy too..but remember thier great value as money before you scarf all your quarters down. You Chinese folks out there no what the hell I'm talking about don't cha......
No worries though as the card jamming method above works very well.
If you live in any city or busy town, you probably get jacked quite often for an expired meter. In my city those parking enforcement bastards are writing you up seconds after the meter expires. And how about all the money in quarters you dish out? I bet if you added it all up you could feed a small country....those bastards are taking the food out of poor babies mouths!
Well, here is a handy way to never have to pay the parking meter and park scott-free for hours. You will get really good at this and you will never put another quarter in the meter again...(except of course when your mother is with you)
Let me first say that this does NOT work in the brand new meters that are digital. (I'm working on that)
1) park your car in front of the meter
2) while in your car, find a business card or a matchbook or any semi-thick paper. (if it's abusiness card
3)If you have a business card: tear 1 inch off of the end and 1/2 inch off of the bottom (you should have a rectangular piece of card measuring about 2-1/2 x 1-1/2 now) if you have a matchbook: open it up and tear off the cover ane half of the back (that should leave you with a 1-1/2" x 2-1/2" rectangle as well) Any piece of semi-thick paper can be torn into these dimentions. (the envelope from a parking ticket works well too!)
4) Fold the paper in half lenghth-wise and then fold it in half length-wise again. You will now have a pretty thick peice of card now measuring about 2-1/2 inches by 1/4 inch.
5) walk up to the meter (don't get nervous nobody pays any attention to someone putting change in their meter, silly) and insert the folded card into the quarter slot until the paper stops. It''s best that the card is thick and takes a little effort going into the slot. As soon as the card is about half-way in the slot, turn the crank on the meter all the way (this will take a little effort). Turning the crank will pull the card into the slot further. Turn the crank all the way until the yellow "violation" sign appears at the top and sticks. Do not try and turn the crank back in the other direction as this may kick up the red sign (ticket). The point is to jam the meter into it's "broken" position which is the yellow "voilation" sign. When the violation sign is up THEY CANNOT TICKET YOU. You can stay there indefinantely if they don't chalk you...If they chalk you (and this is VERY rare) you get about 2 hours (depending on the meter zone ie: 2 hour max etc.)
6) Tear off any ends of card that may still be protruding from the quarter slot. (if you're really socially concious you can leave it sticking out, then when you return you can pull out the entire card and the meter will be as good as new....but I wouldn't reccomend this as sometimes the metermaid will pull it out herself and then another one will come by later an give you a ticket)
7) test the crank and make sure it's jammed well...If you done it right the crank will be so jammed that you can't even turn it back)
8) go on your merry way and rejoice in the knowlege that you saved another dollar toward the starving children's fund.
Remember: when the yellow "violation" sign is up on the meter you are fine. This just means that the meter is broken and you have immunity from tickets when you're at a broken meter. After a while you will do this without even thinking about it. Remenber to keep plenty of cards or matches in your car.
Note: just in case the metermaids try to crack down on this meter-terrorism, don't have your goddam name on the cards or papers you're inserting into the meter.
Again, once you get the hang of it this system is flawless. And I really don't think the metermaids care that much either since they can easily pull the paper out when they open up the meter to collect the change.
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If you live in a big city that has a "Chinatown", then another great way to cheat the meter is to purchase a roll of chinese candy called "HAW FLAKES" at any chinese 5 and dime store.
Haw Flakes come in small rolls of twenty and cost about a nickel a roll. Haw Flakes WORK IN THE METERS AS QUARTERS (not the digital meters). You put in one Haw flake and GENTLY turn the crank. Sometimes they break, so just try again. They do work. Haw Flakes are mighty yummy too..but remember thier great value as money before you scarf all your quarters down. You Chinese folks out there no what the hell I'm talking about don't cha......
No worries though as the card jamming method above works very well.
Butane Balloons
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The Butane Balloon
Innocent looking balloon that transforms into giant flaming fireball when exposed to open flame.
You'll Need:
A big balloon.
A can of Butane to refill lighters like Zippos.
Sticky paper such as a ''post-it''
How to Make:
First you need to buy a large balloon, a can of butane, you get these to refill lighters that you don't just throw away. You can get butane from Walgreens. Now, the tricky part to this is that the nozzle to the butan can is very thin and small so you will need a buddy. Have one person hold the balloon's mouth over the butand nozzle, and the other to fill up the balloon. Once the balloon is full, quickly tie it in a double-knot. Now to ignite it, stick a post-it to the balloon and light the post-it on fire via lighter. The Butane is in the form of gas incase you were wondering, the butane is heavier than air so it won't arise, and the butane is pressurized so be careful. I was once doing this by myself when all of a sudden, the balloon burst. Pieces of thin ice flew everywhere, including my eyes...
The Butane Balloon
Innocent looking balloon that transforms into giant flaming fireball when exposed to open flame.
You'll Need:
A big balloon.
A can of Butane to refill lighters like Zippos.
Sticky paper such as a ''post-it''
How to Make:
First you need to buy a large balloon, a can of butane, you get these to refill lighters that you don't just throw away. You can get butane from Walgreens. Now, the tricky part to this is that the nozzle to the butan can is very thin and small so you will need a buddy. Have one person hold the balloon's mouth over the butand nozzle, and the other to fill up the balloon. Once the balloon is full, quickly tie it in a double-knot. Now to ignite it, stick a post-it to the balloon and light the post-it on fire via lighter. The Butane is in the form of gas incase you were wondering, the butane is heavier than air so it won't arise, and the butane is pressurized so be careful. I was once doing this by myself when all of a sudden, the balloon burst. Pieces of thin ice flew everywhere, including my eyes...
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